You're Probably an Asshole if:
1 You don't think my dog is cute
2. Cowboys is your favourite place to hang out
3. You think Stephen Harper is the best person to lead Canada
4. You have a membership at the Calgary Petroleum Club
5. Your mom and dad don't know anything about your personal life or values, but deposit $2000 into your bank account on the 1st of every month.
6. You love telling people about how you can get VIP at Calgary bars
7. You're rude to Jean or Ted Carter
8. You concentrate on, and worry about the people who treat you like shit more than the people who call you every day
9. You truly believe that private schools provide better education than public schools
10. Your conversations with your 'friends' center around your monthly income (unless of course it's to laugh about how teeny tiny it is), vacation properties, and new car lease
11. Tool and the Nine Inch Nails music makes you 'uncomfortable', but you own all of the Nickleback albums (I don't care if they're from Alberta-they're fucking terrible....and why would I like someone just 'cause they're from Alberta? Stephen Harper's from Alberta!)
12. You don't let people with children come over to your house
13. You don't 'believe' in homosexuality
14. You scoff at Sociology while simultaneously pursuing a 'duh'-gree in Economics
15. You have a job promoting 'Rev' drinks in Calgary liquor stores and bars, and drive around in the company hummer giving 'hot' guys/girls the 'winking gun' while blasting Nelly music.
16. You don't think Larry David is fucking fall-down hilarious.
17. You stand in the foyer of Science Theatres passing out Conservative Party pamphlets
18. You wear a suit to class and spend your day standing in front of the stock marker 'ticker' in Scurfield Hall, laughing and talking in the loudest possible tone so that the first-year girl sitting 10 seats away who works as a beer tub girl will think you're ultra-cool and sophisticated
19. Your favourite band changes weekly, 'cause it's the one featured on the O.C. while Ryan sits there and pouts about his latest tragedy, as Marissa sits in hear 'beach house' holding her knees in her hands.
And, perhaps the most important and/or telling measure of your asshole-ishness:
20. Nate won't return your phone calls.
2. Cowboys is your favourite place to hang out
3. You think Stephen Harper is the best person to lead Canada
4. You have a membership at the Calgary Petroleum Club
5. Your mom and dad don't know anything about your personal life or values, but deposit $2000 into your bank account on the 1st of every month.
6. You love telling people about how you can get VIP at Calgary bars
7. You're rude to Jean or Ted Carter
8. You concentrate on, and worry about the people who treat you like shit more than the people who call you every day
9. You truly believe that private schools provide better education than public schools
10. Your conversations with your 'friends' center around your monthly income (unless of course it's to laugh about how teeny tiny it is), vacation properties, and new car lease
11. Tool and the Nine Inch Nails music makes you 'uncomfortable', but you own all of the Nickleback albums (I don't care if they're from Alberta-they're fucking terrible....and why would I like someone just 'cause they're from Alberta? Stephen Harper's from Alberta!)
12. You don't let people with children come over to your house
13. You don't 'believe' in homosexuality
14. You scoff at Sociology while simultaneously pursuing a 'duh'-gree in Economics
15. You have a job promoting 'Rev' drinks in Calgary liquor stores and bars, and drive around in the company hummer giving 'hot' guys/girls the 'winking gun' while blasting Nelly music.
16. You don't think Larry David is fucking fall-down hilarious.
17. You stand in the foyer of Science Theatres passing out Conservative Party pamphlets
18. You wear a suit to class and spend your day standing in front of the stock marker 'ticker' in Scurfield Hall, laughing and talking in the loudest possible tone so that the first-year girl sitting 10 seats away who works as a beer tub girl will think you're ultra-cool and sophisticated
19. Your favourite band changes weekly, 'cause it's the one featured on the O.C. while Ryan sits there and pouts about his latest tragedy, as Marissa sits in hear 'beach house' holding her knees in her hands.
And, perhaps the most important and/or telling measure of your asshole-ishness:
20. Nate won't return your phone calls.
posted by Soci Womyn at 6:05 PM
1 Comments:
can you add to the list:
- You feel that the size of your bank account is directly proportional to the amount of taste/sophistication/ you have. Taste is acquired not purchased.
-discuss the quality of sushi at 7 11 or from a food court.
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