Calgary's Newest Night Life
So, while having a major lapse of judgement, I decided to go to one of Calgary's 'fabulous' night clubs in order to celebrate Halloween last Friday. Big, big mistake............upon arriving at the door, my male companions were denied entry based on the fact that they were wearing sleeveless shirts and running shoes.....which were part of their HALLOWEEN COSTUMES. So, when we informed the bouncer of this--because I doubted he actually understood this notion implicitly--he tells us, "sorry guys, we simply can't accomodate sleeveless shirts and runners." Ummmm...wtf? Will your club self-destruct if someone touches it's floor with a running shoe, or will a deadly chemical reaction be produced if a man walks through the door without a collared shirt on?
While we eventually did earn entry after the 'manager' (and I use this term sarcastically, so as to convey my incredulousness of the import of his occupation) bestowed us with this incredible gift of entry, it didn't make me feel any better. It completely dawned on me that I live in an incubated little world of leftism, nonjudgement, and value for the most crucial things in life, while so many lived in this narcissistic and empty world of Calgary's club scence, and actually took it really seriously.
So---I've decided to start my own club. And, I will totally deny people entry at the door, but not based on things as arbitrary as clothing choices. Thus, I've laid out a pre-determined set of questions that my hired 'bouncers' will ask potential club-goers:
1. Do you vote? (If answer is no, entry is denied. If yes, proceed to question 2).
2. With what political party do you associate? (If they say conservative, they have to leave).
3. Name your two favourite musical artists (If they name Nelly, Good Charlotte, that dude Jessica Simpson was married to, or Hilary Duff, they cannot come in; alternatively, if they answer Radiohead or Tool, they can be permitted immediate entry).
4. Do you support the tenets of feminism? (If no, they must leave).
5. If you are a postsecondary student, are you attending the Haskayne School of Business at the University of Calgary, or any other program that will eventually lead to attendance there? (If yes, they must immediately leave, and preferably have their identification swiped so that they can be tagged in the future should they attempt to return).
6. Do you drive a Pontiac Grand Prix and think that it's a sports car instead of the family sedan with a spoiler on it that it really is? (I think the response should be clear by now).
If people can get through this brief but pointed mini-screening, they're welcome in my club........I think maybe 5 or so people I know will attend, 2 of which are my parents.
While we eventually did earn entry after the 'manager' (and I use this term sarcastically, so as to convey my incredulousness of the import of his occupation) bestowed us with this incredible gift of entry, it didn't make me feel any better. It completely dawned on me that I live in an incubated little world of leftism, nonjudgement, and value for the most crucial things in life, while so many lived in this narcissistic and empty world of Calgary's club scence, and actually took it really seriously.
So---I've decided to start my own club. And, I will totally deny people entry at the door, but not based on things as arbitrary as clothing choices. Thus, I've laid out a pre-determined set of questions that my hired 'bouncers' will ask potential club-goers:
1. Do you vote? (If answer is no, entry is denied. If yes, proceed to question 2).
2. With what political party do you associate? (If they say conservative, they have to leave).
3. Name your two favourite musical artists (If they name Nelly, Good Charlotte, that dude Jessica Simpson was married to, or Hilary Duff, they cannot come in; alternatively, if they answer Radiohead or Tool, they can be permitted immediate entry).
4. Do you support the tenets of feminism? (If no, they must leave).
5. If you are a postsecondary student, are you attending the Haskayne School of Business at the University of Calgary, or any other program that will eventually lead to attendance there? (If yes, they must immediately leave, and preferably have their identification swiped so that they can be tagged in the future should they attempt to return).
6. Do you drive a Pontiac Grand Prix and think that it's a sports car instead of the family sedan with a spoiler on it that it really is? (I think the response should be clear by now).
If people can get through this brief but pointed mini-screening, they're welcome in my club........I think maybe 5 or so people I know will attend, 2 of which are my parents.
posted by Soci Womyn at 8:30 PM
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